Greenville writer Elizabeth Rosenblum believes Love is like a box of chocolates...
It may be hard to believe but Americans spend $1.8 billion dollars a year on Valentine’s candy. How much of that candy do you think actually gets eaten versus what is discarded because someone is not satisfied with the flavor or it is not what they expected?
For many years my sisters and I would get a heart-shaped box of chocolates from my father every Valentine’s Day. We would immediately break it open and start testing each piece. I personally preferred caramel over creme-filled, milk over dark chocolate, and coconut over jelly filled. The ones that I did not prefer remained half-eaten in the box or were thrown away.
When you draw the analogy to love it is clear that everyone likes a different flavor. Some like hip and cool, others like the intellectuals, jocks or the eccentrics. When you are seeking love the packaging can be deceiving, yet we continue to look at the packaging first. It seems that over time people would begin to learn that the outside does not necessarily indicate what is inside and vice versa. Yet, we go through the search for love, not matter the age, seeking but not seeing, seeing and not understanding, exactly what flavor of love we want or need.
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Chocolate has long since been related to love dating back to the 16th century Aztecs when Montezuma noticed that the more cocoa, at that time a bitter elixir that was drunk instead of consumed in tasty pieces of chocolate, had a direct connection to his ability to enjoy the ladies. Centuries later, Richard Cadbury, a British chocolate magnate, saw a business opportunity on February 14 to provide delicious chocolates in decorative containers which has been the tradition ever since.
Many people in longterm marriages or relationships attribute their success to plain good luck. In that, they got married not exactly knowing what they were getting into and when they found that everything was not perfect they just decided to deal with it. Taking the good with the bad is part of the relationship. Being open to what love brings is part of the relationship. Some parts are sweeter than others but all things work together to blend into their own unique flavor.
The fact is that we never know what we are going to get when we open a box of chocolates literally or figuratively in love, life, or friendship. Taking the good with the bad is what it is all about. The saying, people feel exactly about you as you feel about them, has a lot of truth in it. We all absolutely have flavors in life that we prefer, yet in order to live in this life and certainly to exist and succeed in a relationship and even friendship, we have to be willing to accept all flavors and be willing to deal with what we get.
Or when you think about it another way, getting a box of chocolates is always exciting, full of surprises! Every one of the chocolates is unique, flavorful, different in texture and sweetness. Every bite brings a new surprise! What if we all looked at love that way—every opportunity for a date, every conversation with a loved one, every day with our spouse? How would life be different for you and for them if instead of tasting the chocolates and deciding which of them you do not like think about which of them you do like.
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As a personal coach, I was always struck by the phrase, look at things with curiosity rather than judgement. And you know what? It works. When you look at a person, a piece of chocolate, even yourself and you do not automatically judge and hone in on what you do not like, it is truly amazing how with a little curiosity, something or someone becomes more interesting and more appealing.
February is much more than just Valentine’s Day and a box of chocolates can be bought any day of the year. Instead, take this time to challenge yourself to value yourself, love and friendship in a fresh way for the new year.
Look at love and life like a box of chocolates— as unpredictable, and exciting. It just may be sweeter and more enriching than you ever thought possible especially when you never know what you may get!